Do you see yourself
Do you see yourself
The Mirror
As I stand in the mirror and reflect on myself I envision the little girl that needs healing from missing her father, a little girls that was violated traumatized and strip of her childhood and was haunted by those memories, a little girl who was told not to tell by the perpetrator who wanted the little girl to feel like it was her fault and she asked for it. A little girl who was not healed from the lack of receiving love from her mother because she was a crack head, a little girl who was made to feel less than because she did not come from the best homes and did not dress the best. A little girl whose cries went unheard and her voice was made to be silent. A little girl who was left to defend for herself because she had no one to fight for her, a little girl who was bullied and no one felt her pain on the inside, a little girl who had to hide who she was for feeling of being judged. A little girl who was told she would never be nothing or good enough, that she was stupid and ignorant. A little girl who was not loved.
I am Healing the little girl
I am Healing the Teenager
The adult that carried all the baggage over from the little girl to the teenager, the adult who is angry because she is misunderstood, the adult that is timid and does not love herself, the adult that can’t look at herself in the mirror because she see the scars from the black eyes, busted lip and swollen face, the adult that is still trapped in being the little girl, the adult that still longs for her father and the motherly love, the adult that was never shown any love therefore she does not know how to give love or receive love, the adult that thinks the abuse is a form of love, the adult that cannot be by herself because she is dependent on others for her survival, the adult that does not know how to get her voice back, the adult that battles the demons from within on a daily basis, the adult that feels guilty of her past not realizing it was not her fault, The adult that is prideful and refuses to acknowledge she needs help, The adult floating through life shutdown and disconnected.
The teenager who carried the baggage over from the little girl, who now has developed and feel that she is not pretty, her self esteem has been snatched she has no confidence, the teenager who is wounded and broken, the teenager who was told she was just like her no good mother and would never be anything, the teenager that did not fit in because she was never taught to be herself and love herself, the teenager who is still being violated and scared to tell, the teenager who got pregnant before marriage and she was frowned upon, the teenager who became a street walker because she had to flea from a house that was not a home and ended up with a person taking advantage of her weakness, the teenager who is struggling with her sexuality but has no one in her corner, The teenager who is struggling in school because she is angry and no one understands why, The teenager who no longer has self confidence and her self esteem is gone, The teenager who has now become suicidal and she feels invisible.
I am Healing the Adult
I stand in the mirror to reflect on the challenges of life, my experiences, my hurts, pains and disappointment. I have had ups and downs I have fought with myself for myself. I have been lied to mistreated, demeaned and my voice stolen. I have been made to feel less than I was, I have given up my worth. I have stayed in situations when they were not healthy. I’ve let time go by not realizing it was passing while I was stuck in my own world. But today I am releasing it all and I am fighting for me to be whole from the inside out, no longer will I look in the mirror of my past and dwell there. I am a conqueror, I am strong, I am powerful and I have a voice. I do not have to settle, I am worth the best
I AM HEALED
As I look at myself in the mirror, I realize I am strong, I am beautiful, I am talented, I am secure in who I am, I am a powerhouse, I am full of vitality, I stand firm in my speech, I command respect, I am present in the room, my energy can be felt.........Who Am I..........I AM CONFIDENCE!!!!
I begin this moment walking in boldness for the woman to whom I have become I am strong you didn't break me, I am confident, I am beautiful. I am a great woman, a great wife, a fabulous woman, I am powerful I take my life back, your description of who you think I am or said I was I am not what you said, I am free the weight has been lifted, I value me, my opinion matters, I no longer care what others think of me, I will not wear my feelings for others to see, you say that I am weak and I laugh, it took me time to get here but I have arrived yes I am woman, I stand strong and tall, I got my voice back never to be silenced again, I will not settle for less I am worth more than gold, I think highly of myself, I do not live in fear, I can accomplish anything I set my mind too, I have values and morals, I am not jealous of other woman because I am secure in who I am, Your whispers and stares have no effect on me, I can own a house, have a career and family, I am a woman of many talents and I can accomplish anything I set my mind to, I win with or without you,I am beautiful, gorgeous, talented, a great woman. Don't hate on my confidence, I worked hard to become the woman I am today and I celebrate the woman who I look in the mirror and see, I salute her, give her kisses and hugs, I pamper and compliment myself, I bow down to me for the woman I see. I am walking in the new me and it feels amazing. Thank you self you did it!
I'm Walking in the New Me
Let the beautiful you overflow, don't hide it!
F
E
A
R
I will not live in the fear of my past. No longer will I allow the things that cause me harm to effect me. I will not live in fear of your opinions of me, the fear of the bruises that are long gone but I think someone can see. The fear of being judge for loosing everything. The fear of being homeless and unable to take care of my family. The fear that cause me to think I can not get back on my feet. The fear of failing, the fear of not reaching my full potential. The fear of embracing who I am. I fear the acceptance of me because I am ashamed of who I am. The fear of the being able to reveal my sexuality. The fear of facing my fears because I feel I will not recover from visiting such a dark place. The fear of my lifestyle coming back to haunt me. The fear of bad decisions. The fear of giving of my self to someone who loves me unconditionally, because I don't think I'm worthy. The fear of not living in my truth. The fear of the weight that I carry, the judgement of my looks, my size the color of my skin. Because of the things that happened to me I fear leaving my house. The fear of being in public. The fear from the after affects of rape, the fear of being robbed again. The fear that has consumed my life from all the hurt, pain, bruises, violations, loss, sufferings, misuse, criticism, the fear of silencing those voices in my head, the fear of releasing the load that is weighing me down. Fear we can see it in your eyes, in your demeanor the way you sit, stand and walk. What are your fears? Are you ready to face them?
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I Will Face My Fears - You Have No More Control - I Will Live Life
take it one Step at a time.....Get Help......Speak to someone
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Journal for Women
